MY FIRST EVER PHOTOSHOOT (LONDON)

I have decided to share my modelling story for the first time EVER! Hello Gorgies! I am one of those people who believe that everything that happens in our lives is meant to be or it wouldn't have happened if it was not. My modelling story is an interesting one actually, or at least I would like to think so.

Surprisingly enough I grew up a Tomboy. I was the girl with the bald head (I cut all of my hair out regularly as it was done to the boys), wore trousers all the time, climbed trees, played football with boys and I will always be glad and grateful that my mother didn't discourage me from being the boy I thought I was. The first time my male cousin saw me (when he could actually start remembering things) he asked me to play football with him because he genuinely thought I was a boy.

So naturally I never thought in a million years I would be interested in becoming a model or doing anything relatively girly and sexy and I am pretty sure my sister and mother were kind of shocked when I developed an interest in it at twelve years old. In Botswana, we love our beauty pageants. In my last year of primary school, my school had only one of two representatives for the regional Agriculture fair so I decided to take part and become the second one.

As you might have anticipated, I did not win or even get into the top ten. Then a couple of months later we had another pageant in my school for Miss Tumasera Primary School. Again I didn't win but I had become increasingly keen on it. I didn't win my first pageant until a year and a half later, when I became Miss Sesholo Secondary School and Miss PACT. I was super proud of myself. But then I changed schools, from the village to a town.

Being a village girl I was super intimidated by the town girls and I developed lots of confidence and body issues. I entered one pageant and didn't even make the top ten and so I stopped participating in pageants. However I started telling people, one day I will be famous (lol) and I would be on covers of magazines. People would gossip about me though. I was not considered one of the best looking girls so people would say lots of things about me, mostly that I was a crazy dreamer. I had gained weight and when I told my secondary school class teacher that I wanted to be in magazines and on screen he told me I was too fat to do it.

My confidence issues, body image and eating issues worsened but somehow I still did not lose faith. My heart was filled with hope. When I eventually started at the University of Botswana, I met a group of people who were very positive influences in my life and were such dear friends who encouraged me all the time. Kutlwano and Thato were amazing and of course my best friend Sharon. They encouraged me to go to a modelling casting for a local modelling agency and my bestie went with me to it.

I got in and was meant to be signing the contract in the near future. But then I went to Sweden for the Christmas holidays. I subsequently came to the UK to finish off the vacation. A few modelling opportunities presented themselves whilst I was on vacation and the rest as they say is history. I got two agency offers which I was not content with so I decided to enrol in university and study BA Acting as I am crazy in love with performance.

Of course I am not where I want to be or where I thought I would be at twenty three but I am very happy. Going after your dreams no matter what people say, no matter how much money you have or no matter where you are from is everything. Your heart is your compass in life. Listen to it and follow it. People will tell you where they think you should go but only you know the answer to that. Let people doubt you, it's their job but never doubt yourself. Life will test your belief and faith and some days will be better than others but you just have to keep on moving forward. There will be a lot of set backs but with each trial you grow, learn and improve. Trust your heart and the process of life.

My first proper photo shoot was in London. I went with my aunt and uncle and oh what fun we had. I remember my aunt's reaction when she saw me walk out of the changing room with my outfit and full face on. She was almost in tears. They waited in the reception area while I did my thing. From that photo shoot it was very clear to me, the crew and to my aunt and uncle that I came alive in front of the camera.

I am sharing this not to say I have made it but to encourage someone who may be feeling hopeless. We don't choose where we are born or who we are born to but we choose how to react and respond to that. I am very lucky to have a very supportive family but if you don't, accept it and do not let it define.  You can wallow or you can take the little that you have and begin your life journey. Life is for those who have faith.

LIFE UPDATE
I haven't done any modeling in the past year and a couple of months so I can get a handle on my mental health problems and decide what I really want to do with my life. The fashion and entertainment industries are not for the faint-hearted. I want to be strong enough to take on that beast. But whatever decisions I make, I will follow my heart and so should you. Always.