LOVE THYSELF

I was not going anywhere

One of the things that break my heart the most in life is when people refuse to see beauty in themselves. Hello Gorgies! Ever feel/felt like you fell short of the 'standard of beauty'? Maybe you think you are not tall enough, slim enough or your skin has too many blemishes, you have chubby legs, a small/big butt, too much cellulite, crooked teeth... the list is endless? For a long time I felt like I was not thin enough. These thoughts occasionally occupy my mind overwhelmingly and I get tempted to get back to my unhealthy ways with food. I am sure you have had a thought or hundred about why you are not beautiful.

There is an exercise I have found really helpful when I have terrible thoughts about being inadequate. Let's do it together. Look yourself in the mirror. For some it will be easy while some might be reduced to tears. Whatever your experience power through or if it's particularly difficult, do a little bit over an extended period. You know yourself so do what is best for you.

Then look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself what you love about yourself. If you answered nothing, then you might need to buy a pair of glasses because there are at least ten wonderful things about you. Again if you can't identify as many things as possible, do it over an extended period until you find a few things. Do NOT move on to the next step of the exercise without successfully completing this one.

Subsequently, write the things you think could be improved. It's not about saying, 'I hate my tummy because it is too big' but saying, 'my tummy can use a bit of toning'. It is essentially the same thing, but it is not what you say but how you say it. Remember words are powerful, they can either make or break you.

After identifying everything you want to improve, write it down and then come up with an action plan. Crying about a situation repeatedly and dwelling on it is no use to you, find the solution so you can get over it. Of course it's easier said than done but it can be done. For example, I was obsessed with weight loss. I starved myself to stay 'thin'. But I desperately wanted to change this because I was not happy. So I started exercising. That made me hungry to the point where I couldn't just ignore it. So I began to eat more. This worked for ME, it might not work for you. Again you know yourself, so make choices that are good for you as life experiences are not uniform. You might have to seek help from professionals if your situation is overwhelming you. After coming up with a plan of action, stick to it. Be committed and disciplined.

The severity of our problems differ. But one thing is useful to all, honesty. Be honest with yourself. Denying that you have a problem, no matter how insignificant you think it is, is a guaranteed way of worsening the situation. Focus on loving yourself instead of criticizing yourself. Love is the only way out of darkness. People only ever quote this when there has been a tragedy; one human being against another but they never quote it to themselves. When darkness plagues you and you develop unhealthy habits that are destroying you, love yourself back to peace and health.

HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

Stop saying negative things about yourself.

Don't compare yourself to anyone.

Know that life is not a competition.

Be honest and true to yourself.

Recognise what you can change and what you can't change.

Adjust your attitude.

Learn from others.

Make yourself a priority, you can only love your neighbour the way you love yourself. If you don't value yourself, chances are you will repeat that cycle onto others.

Know when to seek help.

REMEMBER: Life is a dichotomy. There is love and hate, celebration and mourning, night and day, sweetness and bitterness etc. Embrace both aspects of life and the same duality in yourself. For everything you are unhappy about with yourself, there is something you do or have that makes you proud. Acknowledge both and improve your relationship with each. Smiling a bit more that necessary also helps lol.

P.S: I am not an expert, I am just sharing my life experiences and the things that worked for me.