Real life stories on 'going natural' #blackgirlmagic
Before I get into, real life stories on 'going natural' #blackgirlmagic I have to clarify something. This post is two weeks in the making. I considered not posting it because of the current situation in Minneapolis because I don't want anyone thinking that I am riding the coat tails of racism to 'advance' my blog. But I decided to go ahead and post it anyway because my passion for sharing these girls stories on going natural has't changed. If anything, it has been strengthened.
If I may make a note on something that I haven't even quite comprehended yet. George Floyd. I am beginning to think of him as a modern day martyr because it seems like his murder will change the depraved 'justice' system of America and many other countries. And believe you me, these things happen all over the world, it's just that they don't get filmed. Once you learn to find a way to deal with the emotions that come with witnessing such a heinous crime, even on video, I urge you guys to do something different. The outrage is warranted, expected and welcomed quite frankly. But at the end of the outrage, may our actions speak louder than our words.
May we donate, support one another and cry with one another. Then may we be vigilant and become the police ourselves. When we see injustices, may we speak on them, film them, expose them and keep the conversation going. Stand with us, your brothers and sisters of colour. Of course all lives matter but at the moment, it seems like the 'justice system' of America and some racists have forgotten that #blacklivesmatter.
Rest in peace George Floyd.
Real life stories on 'going natural' #blackgirlmagic
Disclaimer: real life stories on going natural #blackgirlmagic is not about putting down anyone who hasn't gone natural. This is not necessarily a political statement, it is simply story telling. And each story is not trivial. It is significant, because we are all significant. To all the girls with relaxed her, if that's your choice and it's not based on fear, (I know plenty of you who do it for yourselves), keep doing you.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I am super excited about this post. Let's delve right in to real life stories on going natural #blackgirlmagic. Read to the end for my story.
Anita
Age: 26
Occupation: Consultant
Residence: Houston, Texas
Nationality: Nigerian
I found this lovely lady on Instagram. I DM'd her and thankfully she agreed to answer the question, Why I went natural.
Her story on going natural
So why did I go natural? It was sophomore year of high school when I decided that I wanted to cut off my permed ends. I feel like YouTube just became a thing and it seemed like going natural was the cool, new, progressive thing to do. Come to think of it, I believe that it was more so a thing for the African and Caribbean women in my school that were going natural. The black American women actually weren’t going natural and they held onto the creamy crack for a little bit longer than I did. And honestly I understand why. Back then no one really knew how to take care of their natural hair because once again, it was just the newest coolest thing to do.
I had no idea what I was doing
I actually had no idea what I was doing and looking back on it, all the products on the market back then also had no idea what they were doing. But I believe I had gotten tired of my permed hair I really didn’t take care of it too well so it was lifeless and I thought well I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try something new. That was also when virgin hair had become a thing. By virgin I mean like the Brazilian weaves, all of that. So I opted to put my hair in a weave more often then leave it out and take care of it because I just didn’t know how.
I honestly think it was maybe the end of college when I actually started to take care of my natural hair and invest in taking care of it and still that was bare minimum. I always hid it in weaves, wigs, and Braids so much so that I’ve had to do a big chop or cut off a significant amount of my hair to start the process over 4 to 5 times now.
The bright side of quarantine
All I know is, thank God for this quarantine because if it wasn’t for this enforced downtime, I can honestly say I would still be struggling with my hair and not knowing exactly what my hair needs. With this time I have been able to really learn my hair, experiment with different things and I can see the difference almost instantly with the health of my hair.
Honestly, I am so excited to see now where my hair grows to and to become my own hair goals. I’m learning about porosity, density, different ingredients in hair products, protein and moisture balance and just so many things that I had never done before because I’ve never had the time to actually learn about my hair. I’m also very grateful for the opportunity to even reflect on my hair journey because It’s not something that I would think to just do on my own, so thank you.
Omphile
Age: 26
Occupation: Articles for chattered accountant
Residence: South Africa
Nationality: South African
It was the year 2013, I was doing my first year in varsity when I made the decision to go natural. Instead of transitioning (a natural term of growing out your natural hair while keeping your relaxed/permed hair), I decided to cut it all off. It was liberating to be honest, and I’ve never looked
back since.
To back track a bit, I had always relaxed my hair from an early age. My mom thought my little sisters' and I would have ‘manageable’ hair that way. We still had fairly good hair even while relaxing, but I struggled with breakage which prevented hair growth, strength and volume. Never mind my scalp no longer tolerating the burning sensations every time I had to go to the salon for a new relaxer.
The natural hair movement
I left for varsity in 2013 and that’s when I started learning more about myself to be honest: what I liked, didn’t like, my self-image and worth. It was also around this time I got introduced to the “natural hair movement”- girls who looked like me with coily 4c hair, and all types of natural hair,
embracing who they were. One couldn’t help but be inspired by the confidence these women oozed while talking about their natural hair.
In the midst of the natural hair conversations, I was made aware that black hair had been used as a political statement. And that it may be seen as unkempt/untidy in certain places. Especially for an undergraduate like me who wanted to enter the corporate world. Regardless, after my “research
days” on YouTube, streaming videos on natural hair tutorials and products, I decided to cut all my hair off on the 30th of August 2013.
My hair has taught me some life lessons
Yearning for change at that time and not being bothered by societal views on black hair being untidy, hard to maintain and not pleasing to the eye, was what led me to cut my hair and go natural. It was liberating, and still is. I thereafter got exposed to how versatile my hair really is, from the curls, to
shrinkage to maintaining different hairstyles. It really has a life of its own.
My hair has taught me some life lessons too, like patience- I had to learn how to wash and maintain my own hair as salons in my area at the time could only handle permed hair. It’s taught me my own version of beauty- even with short hair I felt like I runway model, and self-love- I embraced myself fully, as I am. It’s definitely one of the best decisions I’ve done to date
Doyin
Age: 23
Occupation: Accountant
Residence: Limerick, Ireland
Nationality: Irish/Nigerian
I think its kind of funny how people say “I’m going natural” or “I’m thinking about going natural” if anything we should be saying “I’m going BACK natural”. We were all born natural after all.
I went back natural by mistake. I had recently moved away from home for college and wasn’t getting my hair done as regularly as I would have back home. And I also just started to neglect my hair because I was trying to navigate my new life as a student. Long story short, 3 months went by and only then did I finally decide to take my braids out. When I did, all my texturised hair (I’ve only ever really relaxed my hair once and Mum realised my hair was way too sensitive for those harsh chemicals) broke off and that was it. I was left with about 4 inches of natural hair and I had absolutely no clue how to take care of it.
I started questioning why I relaxed my hair in the first place
As any teenager would back in 2013, I went straight onto YouTube for help. Coincidentally, this all happened during the height of the natural hair movement. I started questioning why I relaxed my hair in the first place. It had just been something I had always done. Seeing so many diverse beautiful black women rocking their hair was all the motivation I needed to stay natural. Also my hair started growing tremendously… now I know my hair had always been growing I had just never retained the length. It was definitely a struggle at first. And we all know natural hair care products are not cheap either.
Its mad to think that so many black girls like myself were raised to just relax their hair without even thinking twice about it. Wearing my hair the way it grows out of head was never an option presented to me as a young girl.
I’ve been natural 7 years now and it was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Seun
Age: 23
Occupation: Creative writer
Residence: Toronto, Canada
Nationality: Nigerian
I’d been perming my hair since before I can remember; there was no real reason for doing it, it’s just what we all did. But I’ve always been a fan of curly hair, and told myself as a teenager that my daughter would have natural hair for sure… it was just too late for me.
I posted a picture on my Instagram years before I went natural, of my hair, freshly washed, sitting big on my head in what I called a ‘mock fro’ and captioned it, “Flashback to me acting like I have natural hair #iwantanafrosobad”. My sister commented, “Cut it again and start again” to which I replied “we both know that’s not going to happen.” I had fairly long hair and had been getting compliments on it for my entire life, and so was protective over it. Even though I loved natural hair, the reason I wouldn’t go natural at the time was because I was trying to preserve my length.
What inspired me to go natural was seeing my family do it. My mum went natural first out of my whole family, and then my sisters followed. Watching their hair grow back quicker than I thought it would, and seeing that they didn’t look bad with shorter hair made me think I wouldn’t too. I finally took the plunge in my second year of University when I noticed how nice and curly my housemate’s hair was.
I thought, “See? It won’t be that bad,” so I stopped perming my hair, and after a year of transitioning, in my final year of University, I did my big chop.
I lost a lot of length, but I learned to enjoy every stage my hair was in and be proud of it, so that’s making this journey worthwhile.
Temilade
Age: 24
Occupation: Student
Residence: Limerick, Ireland
Nationality: Nigerian
Born in the 90's, my mother was a hairstylist. She always did my hair and my sisters'. That meant my hair was in her hands alone. Unfortunately, this was the only way for me to style my hair.
I firmly believe that I have some form of PTSD from my past relaxing experiences. I have a very tender scalp and the relaxer was absolute torture when I applied it to my hair. My scalp always felt like it was on fire before it was even applied halfway. Then my hair would basically stick to my scalp due to the burns on it. My mother decided at this point to be innovative. She tried all kinds of methods and remedies to avoid burning. She used various scalp powders, pomades, and even engine oil (Yes!! Engine Oil), but nothing worked ever.
The health of my hair gradually deteriorated, and it began to thin out. I could not wear my natural hair in public proudly anymore. So I had to go to the salon constantly for another hairdo, which always cost a little fortune. And I did it for some time until I saw girls with their natural hair out, and I admired the way they rocked their Afro.
Our ancestors almost abandoned their identity
This led me to investigate the history, origin, and essence of natural hair, and I soon found out that black women began to relax their hair to fit the west world. Our ancestors almost abandoned their identity and then we were trained and conditioned to do the same. Learning about this broke my heart and encouraged me to reform my hair perspective on three principles:
- My hair health
- My pocket
- Embracing my identity as a beautiful black woman.
I started my 8-month journey that consisted of changing my routine and using better alternatives to my hair products and methods. And I finally ended up making the big chop on my last day of university. I will never forget the look of shock on the face of my mother when I walked out of my dorm with my little afro.
Thus, began my journey to the natural side and I have never looked back.
My hair and pocket still thank me for it today.
Temilade Odunayo.M.
Vanessa
Age: 27
Occupation: Graduate
Nationality: Ugandan/British
My mother started relaxing my hair from the age of 2/3 years old so for as long as I could remember I never knew what my natural hair looked like. In fact, natural hair wasn’t even an option for me until my adult years. I decided to go back to natural by accident due to a bad relaxer job my cousin did for me back in 2014… Some parts were straight, other parts were kinky, other parts were God knows what. The relaxer also burnt my skin and I was tired of getting chemical burns on my scalp so from 2014 I stopped relaxing.
I started to wear braids and weaves to cover my hair and never really looked at how to go natural or how to take care of my hair. As my hair grew out and my curls started to form, I got excited. However, in August 2016 when getting ready for a wedding I flat ironed my hair and it looked beautiful but you can guess what happened when I next washed my hair… Heat damage!
From this point I really wanted to get to know my natural hair; how to grow it, how to maintain it, how to style it, and how to be true to the natural me. I started seriously watching YouTube videos learning about wash day, styling, and hair care regimens. From this point on, my hair started to grow healthier, thicker, shinier and curlier than ever before. I gradually cut off my damaged ends and first wore my natural hair out and proud from April 2018.
Since then, I’ve never looked back. No more weaves or braids unless I wanted to switch up my style, and I completely fell in love with my natural hair. I finally feel like me, naturally.
Lorraine
Age: 26
Occupation: Artist/Entrepreneur
Residence: Limerick, Ireland
Nationality: Motswana
My natural hair is my modelling and acting look as you can see here https://www.lorraine-moalosi.com/hidden-figures-inspired-photoshoot/ and https://www.lorraine-moalosi.com/throwback-from-the-mountains-of-italia/. But here's the story behind it...
When I was finishing secondary school in 2010/2011 natural hair was the hype in Botswana and South Africa. One of my classmates had natural hair and I remember that people would ask her constantly when she was going to relax it. Having her as a real life example really inspired me, but I was too chicken to do it because I had considerably long hair.
But the only problem was, my hair would grow to the end of my upper back then it would break. And this cycle repeated over and over again. And my hair was actually shorter than usual in the photo above. Still, I did not have the guts to do it. Until one fateful morning when I went to my sister's friend's house to get my hair done. I had not gotten the chance to wash my hair the night before so I needed to wash it at hers. I used a cheap £1 shampoo, not for the first time, I might add. But this time, my hair literally stuck together. The shampoo had almost turned to glue. There was a black sticky substance in my hair. Because of the shampoo!!
Well the hairdresser was a bit mad at me because I had turned up to the appointment, way too early and without washing my hair. So she just did my hair like that anyway. Needless to say it was very painful. My sister knows her way around hair, so when I visited her she sorted it out for me. She really did enjoy cutting off my long hair, didn't you sis!! And I was left with a little afro. And I have never looked back since.
What I have learnt from these gorgeous girls' stories
Although these stories are quite different, they have a lot in common. For example, the fact that relaxing hair was the default. And most young black girls back then did not know any other option. Secondly, the natural hair movement gave a lot of us girls a new perspective. Thirdly, YouTube! YouTube is like everyone's new best friend. And us black girls are not an exception. I do have to admit however, that I have never really use this YouTube method. But I know it's about time I did because I am completely clueless about taking care of my hair. I do whatever is handy. And judging from my frizzy hair, it's not entirely effective.
An interesting discovery though, is our mothers' role in this. I guess like Temi said, a lot of our predecessors almost abandoned their own identity. This gives me a new perspective. Often in life we blame our parents for teaching us some weird things. For instance, teaching us to relax our hair from three years old. But when you realise that they too did not know any better, you have understanding. And understanding leads to forgiveness and deeper connection.
Why I wanted to tall these stories
If you are wondering why I decided to make a post entitled, Real life stories on 'going natural' #blackgirlmagic, I would like to answer that. My passion in life is to help everyone be comfortable in the skin they were born in. And because I grew up uncomfortable in my body, I want that to stop with my generation. And if I can use this platform to give voice to real life stories, then perfect. Thanks for reading this. Leave comments down below and let me know what you think.
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